soundless echoes

questions

Why do people succumb to anger?

thoughts

It feels so easy to slip into its grasp. But at the same time, from a distance, it looks quite stupid. Aren't we overreacting? What's the point of hitting one another, yelling at one another, going to war with one another? Yet when are up close, immersed in anger, we feel nothing but blissful rage, if that makes sense. Sweet revenge empowers us. Makes us feel as if we are at the top of the world. Maybe it is a survival mechanism. But I sure wish it weren't.

A test of faith

I went to MV to get a binder and notebook I forgot in my locker. On my way there, I went to McClellan Ranch Park and chose to discover a trail there that I always wanted to explore. I donned a green CSF tshirt and light faded jeans from Gilroy. The ends are unraveled, and strings dragged along wherever I go. I was wearing white flip flops as well, which are blacking out.

I started to wind around cautiously on the trail. I remembered that my teacher said something once about wasp nests. Memories of one of Laura Ingall's books flashed to mind. Her cousin accidentally stepped on a wasp nest, and boy did he get it.

Every scuffle in the brush seemed like an enemy about to strike. About to bite me. Sink its teeth into my skin. My arms went into a protective stance, hugging my torso.

Dodging weasel holes in the ground and eyes on the shaking brush around me, I realized that I felt unwelcome. I felt scared of nature. Why should I? Isn't she my mother?

I went through what felt like a test of faith. If I passed, I'd leave unscathed. If I failed, then well, it would hurt.

I felt sad for intruding upon nature. I wonder how I can enter more naturally, instead of stomping on grass, on an animal's home, or for that matter, food.