soundless echoes

questions

Why do people succumb to anger?

thoughts

It feels so easy to slip into its grasp. But at the same time, from a distance, it looks quite stupid. Aren't we overreacting? What's the point of hitting one another, yelling at one another, going to war with one another? Yet when are up close, immersed in anger, we feel nothing but blissful rage, if that makes sense. Sweet revenge empowers us. Makes us feel as if we are at the top of the world. Maybe it is a survival mechanism. But I sure wish it weren't.

confidence

um
*pause*
uh
ehhhhhhhhh
*silence*
*looks down*

maybe i should start over
no, too late
must keep going

going, going, going
can i stop?
should i stop?
let me take a break

wait, this sounds so choppy
what is wrong with me?!?!
why did i say that!!!

yeah yeah yeah
yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh
yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i like this
yes yes yes
YES YES YES
WOOHOO
good ending

what i wouldn't give to transcribe my exact thoughts
word for word in interviews

inside insecure
apparently outside confident
how this is true, i'll never know

négliger

my first pet

skippy the goldfish

swimming in his bowl

kept my eyes trained on him at first

a pet of my own! oh boy!

slowly lost interest

more like i had too much homework

for a 5th grader

hours spent staring in his bowl

changed to brief glimpses

until one day

i found him floating upside down on his belly

not a pretty sight

i had forgotten to feed him

a nagging doubt

what if? what if—

•••

elles m'ont donné de l'espoir

ma raison d'être

mais ses sourires devenaient

plus

rares

et un jour—

...peut être qu'elles ont oublié

je ne suis pas d'avis

qu'elles m'ont tué exprès

ou qu'elles ont arrêter de m'aimer...

un accident?

suis-je ennuyeuse?

une nuisance?

je ne saurai jamais...

elles avancent dans l'avenir

je reste dans petit bocal

toujours...